The Beginning.

So this is the beginning, I guess. This is the beginning of my story.

My full name is Emmaline Livinia. I've always gone by Emmi to everyone, though. Everyone but my parents. They always call me Emmaline. I'd like to say that my parents were enthralled with the idea of having a child. They were excited, looked forward to it. They decorated the nursery, sifted through dozens of perfect names for their perfect daughter. But then, once that daughter came, after a while they got bored of it. Of being parents. They missed their social lives, their work. So they looked for "help". A full time nanny/cook/housekeeper, basically a stand in mom. They found one, named Anya, to look after me. Basically, when I look back on my childhood, I don't see my parents, I see her. She's been the shoulder I cry on with a broken heart, the one to remind me about my homework, the one to give me tips on makeup and clothes. But as much as she is there for me, she's not always around. So I spent a lot of my childhood raising myself. 
I guess, with the lack of attention I got growing up, I began looking for it in other ways. Mostly in boys. I didn't really jump from boy to boy or anything, but I did have a lot of boyfriends. My current boyfriend, Drake, has been the longest-standing one so far. When he said he wanted to have sex, I knew deep down it was wrong, but I spent forever convincing myself that it was what everyone did, and I guess I just wanted someone to tell me I was the most important thing in their world. I realize now that anyone can say it... But not everyone means it.
Two  later, I started feeling sick a lot, and my boobs hurt. Most importantly, I was pretty late on my period. Combine this, and even I knew what that meant. I knew I had to take a pregnancy test. I did, and it was positive. I took even two more, still positive. It didn't sink in for a while, and when I counted back, figuring I was about 9 weeks, it just all set in. I'm having a baby. At sixteen. I still don't know what I'm going to do, and still, nobody knows. I plan on telling Anya tomorrow, then my best friend Madison and my other best friend Liz, then Drake, and finally, my parents. Abortion isn't for me, and I don't think I can watch my child raised in someone else's arms. But then again, I don't know if I can keep it. I know I can, but I don't know if they would be the best thing, given my situation. I'm still searching for answers, any maybe with telling someone and talking about it, I'll be able to figure it out. I guess all I can do is hope for the best. 
This blog will be me talking about my journey. I'll be starting my junior year on Monday, and I'm hoping that people at school will be okay with this, when I start showing.